on paper, a home means nothing

1. i never knew

   i could be a home to another
   or maybe,
   i was so busy looking for a home
   for myself
   that i never realised
   you had made me a home.

   “your body is a home to me”
   “a home is always there”

   home.

2. i’d never known home
   until my feet stepped out
   of a door i thought was a wall

   i realised, a home
   always has doors
   to walk out of

   a home
   never binds

3. my mother was
   the only home i knew
   for as my body was
   cut from the umbilical cord,

   i was out of it, but not in another.
   other umbilical cords
   still forced them on me-
   a plethora which came as one.

   and like a full stop on paper,
   they stamped my skin.

   is the body still corded?

4. if i had scissors to cut them off,
   which are the one’s i would choose to?

   or does cutting one, mean cutting all?
   and then, what of the wound? without
   a home, there is no first-aid.

   home was actually a shorthand
   to healing the wound. home.

5. but what of the violence
   which is a synonym i have found
   to home

   unnamed violence
   like unnamed files
   stored on the desktop
   we do not delete
   because we do not know
   what lies inside

   unquestioned violence
   like unquestioned silence
   that waits to be a ceiling
   that needs to be broken
   and shattered enough
   to see through

   what of the fractured walls
   we do not notice, the leakages
   we do not repair, not unless
   the water leaks onto us
   or unless, in case, it is
   a new home

   new homes
   too
   do not come
   with warranties
   or guarantees

   after all, in the face of a
   fired missile, a dropped bomb,
   homes break.

6. no one leaves home
   unless it breaks or maybe,
   was already broken

7. every body
   leaves home

8. i too have found homes in
   ships which are lost in the sea

   i want to be attached
   to their anchors now

9. how long did you take
   to find me? i am no home. it
   scares me to be one. for home
   is only violence.

   maybe, this is the reason
   why the dead are taken
   from their homes to …

10. find me a home?

    Terms and Conditions:
    i will not shave my beard.
    i will not marry.

11. home is the dream
    we choose to go back to
    after seeing the sunrise
    tearing the dark sky apart
    and pregnant women
    who are all waiting along the shoreline
    to drown so they feel like the babies in the wombs
    and new born babies
    whose first cry is the crescendo of every orchestra
    and chirping birds

    chirping birds

12. home is a silence
    which chooses not to be
    a cracked mirror

13. home is a friendship
    the sound of which
    is never longing

14. home is the sound of a slap
    being replaced by
    the symphony of a hug

15. home is people
    people is home

    i am your breath
    inside out

#NaPoWriMo #NaPoWriMo2017